Intimacy (m/f)“First I’d like to start with thanks! I really...

Intimacy (m/f)

“First I’d like to start with thanks! I really enjoy your blog and all it stands for. It’s really great to have a space for sex positivity and body positivity that is safe and comfortable :)

Anyway, the starting point is that I have never had penetrative sex (as in penis/vagina) but i have had sexual encounters, not many, but some. None of which have been note-worthy or even enjoyable… that said there haven’t been many at all so the baseline is slim.

Intimacy and vulnerability are subjects that I feel really uncomfortable with, and it’s caused me to approach most relationships completely closed off. So I’ve never really had a romantic relationship either, and being a 21 year old girl in university, that is pretty rare. 

So this year I started my post-grad degree and my whole class was filled with mostly people I have never met. One of these strangers happens to be one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever encountered. When I say he is beautiful, I am not talking about his appearance (Though he is certainly blessed). He is very smart, and kind and he has this amazing ability to just question everything and talk openly and question his own beliefs. He listens to others and tries to understand. He is just the most open minded person. I find this so sexy. I had fantasied about him before, but I had never really expected anything to happen,

So the other day, he invited me out for a drink, just to hang out and talk. So I was keen and we hung out. Cut to two hours later and we had gotten very open with each other and I probably told him things that I hadn’t told anyone else. And he did the same. I ended up sharing my feelings with him about sex and intimacy and ended up mentioning that I had only ever achieved orgasm on my own, and that no one had ever gotten me off. He was horrified and kept prodding about the guys I was with, that I deserved better and that It was unacceptable. He seemed genuinely annoyed that this was the case.

Anyway we moved from topic to topic and after a few drinks, we went back to his place so I could charge my phone to get into my flat (a stupid system where you have to call the gate to open. Usually hate it but that day it really worked in my favour). we ended up drinking a few more drinks, gin that he raved about. We listened to music he loved and talked more. He offered to let me stay over cause it was late and no one was in a place to drive. He had housemates, but they were long asleep before we arrived there. I agreed. After all the hassle, we get to bed and he had no shirt on because we live in South Africa where heat is real.

It’s at that point that he asked me if anyone had ever just cuddled and held me before. I had to admit it had been a while. So he just kind touched me and held me and tickled my back and played with my hair. I’ve never had that before and he was pretty amused by the physical reaction he got out of me. My breathing had gotten very deep, very quickly. It was a really good feeling to just be looked after. Then, I’m not really sure how, but he was stroking my body and delicately kissing my neck and it was probably the best feeling I had experienced and I needed more. Then he asked if he could “touch me” and I said yes.

My. Holy. Lord. He fingered me and touched me and it had never felt like that before. I could not stop moaning and twice he had to cover my mouth to avoid waking his housemates. He brought me to orgasm and his smugness only turned me on more. Then he started kissing my body and playing with my breasts. he sucked and played with my nipples, lightly nibbling me, all the while grinding against me and rubbing my clit. I kept gasping and moaning and it was the hottest experience I have ever had. Then he fingered me to another orgasm and i could barely breathe. Then:

“You know, it’s better with tongue” I nearly lost my mind as he dove under the sheets. He pulled my panties off completely and slowly began to kiss and stroke my thighs. he had slight stubble that tickled me and made me giggle. The giggle were quickly replaced by moans when he began to lick my clit. He sucked and flicked his tongue around my clit and occasionally would run his tongue along the whole length of my vagina. I was in absolute ecstasy. Then he inserted two fingers whilst he continued to pleasure me orally. The build was so intense and he kept me hanging there, teasing me and then finally i broke. I had to scream into a pillow to keep from waking up the whole house. It was just about the best orgasm of my whole life.

When he came back up, he chuckled at me and pulled me into a hug, kissing my neck while i caught my breath. Then he began slowly grinding against me, nothing forceful. I don’t know what came over me then, but I needed to touch him. I reached down his jocks and began to stroke him. I’m still smug about the moan I got out of him. He exchanged roles, with me one top for a which, stroking him and kissing his neck, while he fingered me once more. Eventually he turned me over and pulled his jocks off, climbing on top of me. There was a brief moment when I panicked and he must have noticed.

“No, not that, we don’t have to do that"

So he just kept fingering me and kissing me, while I stroked and touched him.His gasping and breathing pushed me further and I ended up climaxing once more. Then my moans pushed him over the edge and he came.

He went to clean himself up and came back. He got back into bed and he just cuddled me the rest of the night until we fell asleep.

It was really the most amazing experience for me. I care a lot about him but I think neither of us had really considered each other romantically and I still don’t think it’ll ever progress to that. The point is that this experience was about intimacy and having a person care about my needs and want me to feel pleasure. Intimacy doesn’t have to be about sex or even being in love. It was a person caring for a person and vice versa.

He and I are still close friends and nothing has changed in the relationship. We hang out and joke and talk about things that make us think and I would change absolutely nothing.

Anyway, I’m sorry for the long story, it was just something I really wanted to share and that I feel really good about.”